oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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