Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
