I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
