Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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