do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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