So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
