I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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