No stitches, just platelets and will power
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
is wine microwaveable?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize