3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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