'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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