my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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