Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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