We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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