Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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