SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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