I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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