How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
