We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
