pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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