i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize