If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
