its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
