1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
