Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
