Me too!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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