do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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