No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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