he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I understand Curling. That high.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
