I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
