It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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