I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So apparently I’m into choking now
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
