never play flip cup with pint glasses
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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