you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Will exercising make me less horny?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize