Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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