after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you never un-have a 4some
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
