haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
