You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize