I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
