I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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