I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dicks are not precious.
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