I must be too annoying 4 u.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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