Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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