I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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