Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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