Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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