Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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