If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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