Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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