hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
