so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
