Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
