i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize