She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
