Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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