i don't like sucking hair
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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