whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
