i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
