Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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