hotel room ftw
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
