I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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