I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize