I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
