where am i from again
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
