Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
