why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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