in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
