**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
These tits shall not be calmed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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