I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He shit in the fireplace
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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