she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
