I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think your dad took our porno
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
