Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
