You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
