On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize