I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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