I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize