Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you had me at cake vodka
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
