it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize