Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize