He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
