Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm always down for nudity.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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