You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
