i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
