Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
