OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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