Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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