She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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