Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
