If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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