I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
